Deanna Lohnes dot com

Snitch on my client list

Deanna — Tue, 15 May 2012 17:56:43 +0000

I get a lot business advice from my guides. One guide is an entity that looks like the Golden Snitch in a Harry Potter movie. I’ve been calling him Snitch because he hasn’t told me his name. Snitch doesn’t communicate with words. He communicates with feelings. Figures a writer would get guides with limited verbal communication.

I asked Snitch to stop using anxiety as a message. It’s not easy to know what feelings are general, free-form anxiety and what feelings are messages from Snitch. I just assume I’m being my typical, high-strung self and I miss the message altogether. Or I start a meditation to alleviate it. Communicating with my guides is a work in progress.

I moved about two weeks ago. I now live about 80 miles from where I used to live. I have a client I’ve been meeting with face to face for about a year and half. She was one of my first clients. There’s some loyalty there. I like her as a person. Because I live so far from where I was, it’s no longer feasible to work with her. When I realized that, I was really torn up about it, so I asked my guides what I should do about it. Snitch answered me.

When I considered not working with her, I felt this amazing sense of peace. I could let her go. It would be ok. She would be ok. I would have other clients. Her needs would be met.

It’s hard to stay in the space of peace that Snitch showed me. I get caught in black and white thinking. I worry about loss of income from working with this client. I worry, period. Even still, I know somehow it will be ok.

Guides on Limiting Beliefs, Freedom and Oprah Syndrome

Deanna — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 18:25:10 +0000

Last time I hung out with my guides was during a guided meditation. As usual, we didn’t stick to the guided bit. We kinda hung out and they showed me the stuff they wanted me to see.

On Freedom

Way back when I got my first apartment, I left a pair of socks on the floor and a spoon in the sink. That was the first thing I did. I threw socks on the floor and left them there. Three days later I got sick of stepping over them and put them in the laundry hamper.

Tossing dirty socks on the floor and leaving dishes in the sink were my first act as an “adult” because thats what it took to feel free. Dirty socks on the floor represented freedom. These days dishes in the sink and socks on the floor feel like chores. I’m still looking for the thing that makes me feel free. I might be searching because I generally feel free. I’m working on that with my guides.

On Limiting Beliefs

Earlier in the week I made a list of limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs can be the most insidious things because they sound like reasons. Have you ever said, “I can’t because…” Those are limiting believes. I made a list of mine. It was pretty comprehensive. My guides showed me that list. White Ball of Light said you don’t need that anymore. I really liked that statement. It’s easy to feel like I’m bad or stupid or whatever because I have all these beliefs and whatever that aren’t helping me. WBL’s comment acknowledged that I started all that stuff for a reason. It was so much easier to let go when the original need was acknowledged.

In the Woods

Then my guides showed me the trailhead of a place they wanted me to hike. (I’m glad I knew the pace they were showing me. I didn’t want to drive all over looking for a hiking trail I only know from an image in my head.)

Nothing particularly thrilling happened when I hiked the trail they showed me. I like it. I’ll go back but there were no earth shattering revelations or life-changing, chance meetings. I think sometimes I fall into a trap a friend calls “Oprah Syndrome.” Oprah Syndrome is where you expect everything to be a big thing with cheering and background music. I like that they just showed me a little trail in the woods beside a salt marsh, near a farm. No car giveaways, no life altering experiences. Just a flat-ish trail with blueberry bushes.

The guided meditation ended shortly after. There was a prompt about having something to take away from the meeting. Snitch and WBL just flew (floated?) around my shoulders. I think it was a hug.

Experiment in Spaciousness: The results

Deanna — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 15:09:25 +0000

Recently, I joined Nathara and company over at A2A in their spaciousness experiment.

I tested spaciousness on a situation with a family member. My past experience with this person has been lots of silence, unspoken needs, hurtful words, grudges and a handful of minor emotional explosions on my part.

I don’t want to do that anymore. Unlike cheese and wine, grudges do not age well. So I gave the spaciousness thing a try. Spaciousness as I’m using it, is connecting and making space for curiosity and respect. Spaciousness is allowing things to be as they are.

Before my chat, I tried relaxing, unclenching and made the decision to stay curious. I shifted my energy lower. (I’ve noticed when my energy is shifted high and forward I end up just smashing my brian against the inside of my skull to force reality to conform. Doesn’t work.)

We started our conversation. Predictably, all my stuff still came up: the hurt from 20 years ago, the knee-jerk uncommunicativeness. But that stuff had its own space. It could exist without taking over. (I subscribe to the theory that all the stuff really wants is to be acknowledged and allowed to exist.)

The stuff got its own space, but there was still room for the connection and respect I wanted. Giving the stuff space, left space for me to react to what was actually happening, not what happened in the 90s. Knee-jerk reactions had their own space, leaving room to explore a new way to react.

The final outcome was not what I hoped it would be. It was not what I feared it would be. It was something else entirely. If I hand;t made space, I don’t think there would have been room for a third option.

Try spaciousness for yourself. I’m keeping tabs on the experiments in spaciousness at A2A. Leave them a comment. I’d love to hear how it goes for you.

It’s Time for a Mutiny

Deanna — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 13:43:36 +0000

Mutiny. In seamen’s terms a mutiny is when the sailors rise up and take the ship form the captain, most often by force. The sailors are the grunts. The guys who do the thankless jobs and the heavy lifting. They swab the deck in pirate parlance. The captain is in charge. The captain has all the power. A mutiny is when the little guys fight back and take what they worked for.

I joined a mutiny. We’re not taking back a boat, we’re taking back our social systems. Many (most? all?) of our systems are broken. The system we call career or work is very broken.

I got into this whole solopreneur gig because I had to. Not financial-wolves-are-at-the-door had to, but in-my-heart had to. Yeah, it would’ve been easier to stay in my day job. I made pretty ok money. I paid my mortgage and my condo fee and I commuted an hour every day on a tran packed ass to forehead. I could have stayed in my condo with its fee and in my office with its window. But I something more powerful than me wouldn’t let me stay. I had to go because …

…I’m too stubborn
…They were doing it wrong and they wouldn’t let me fix it
…There was something more out there beckoning me, calling me, whispering my name
…Art is something you can’t not do

Then I discovered a whole world of peeple who wouldn’t sit still while “they” did it wrong, while “they’ ignore what is true and pure and worth fighting for. A whole group of poepel who wouldn’t let their souls slip away while they paid their mortgages and sat in their offices and commuted on packed trains.

I met Larah at Brainyfeet.com. Larah is leading the mutiny. Are you ready to mutiny against whatever system is broken in your world? Is it time for you to do whatever it is you can’t not do? Click the badge and join the mutiny.

The Law of Attraction Can Suck It

Deanna — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 18:13:20 +0000

At the beginning of this year I stumbled into a new personal journey. I know there are other beings, energies entities, souls (the word is not that important) out there. I want to explore more than what we can experience with our five senses. Mostly, I’ve been doing that with a small group. (Check out the link. We’d love to have you.)

This journey is hard to write about. I’m a writer. I love words, but the words aren’t important here. (Take note, you won’t hear me say that anywhere else) As with most experiences, exploring is about feeling. A lot of guidance comes to me as a feeling. Language is rarely adequate to put the feelings into words. The best you can expect is to use words to create a feeling in someone else. And that can be tricky sometimes. This is the first time in my life words are not my friends. Brand new experience for me.

We’ve been having conversations around asking for things you want from the universe. This is a kind of a biggie. There’s so much (worthless) information about the law of attraction and manifesting. The ‘right” way to ask gets all gummed up and overblown. (I sort of hate the law of attraction. I’m sick of hearing about it and the right way to do it.)

Turns out that asking the universe for help is not about the words at all. It’s not about asking in the positive and setting a date. Its not about phrasing it in the present tense. Or anything else you’ve read. Asking is about imagining what you want and then dropping it. By dropping it I mean letting it go and not thinking (obsessing) about it anymore. OK, easier said than done. If it hadn’t worked for me I would still feel like “my brain is smashing against my skull trying to force reality to conform” Which is what the advice out there seems to recommend.

The truth is, asking and visualizing over and over and over creates a state of wanting. Wanting sends the message that we want to want. Personally, I’m sick of wanting.

I’ve been playing around with the concept of asking and not wanting. There is a project near and dear to me. I’ve had ideas and thought about it, but never did much about it. It was a wish. Then I consciously asked for it, didn’t have a clue how to take action and promptly forgot about it. This week, I casually mentioned it to a colleague. The casual comment sparked a brainstorming session. Turns out my project perfectly dovetails with a project my colleague had back-burnered. (Sorry to tease, I’ll spill the beans when I have details.)

The process was basically:

ASK in pictures or feelings -> Let it go -> BAM it happens

I just need to get better at the let it go part. I’m playing with asking for other things in different ways. I’ll keep you posted.

The Money is Not Important

Deanna — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 16:53:27 +0000

If you’re at all like me you read that post title and thought “bullshit.” That’s exactly what I thought when I heard those words.

I was walking home from a dentist appointment. I had just found out I needed $900 of dental work. I also owed the Secretary of State $500 to renew my business license. I fretted about the money as I walked home. Where would it come from? What happens if I can’t get the dental work done? If I don’t pay for the business license the fee doubles. How can I come up with an extra $1400 AND pay rent?

Then I heard

The money is not important.

The message was from one of my guides. The white ball of light (neither of them have told me their names) is the verbal one. “What does that mean? I’m worrying because I have no idea where the money is going to come from.” Nothing. My guides seem to struggle with language. It said it’s piece and that was it. The guide that looks like the Snitch in the Harry Potter movies had no input. “Fine. I can’t figure to out anyway. I’m not thinking about it anymore.” I threw my hands up and quit.

Then, as if to reinforce my decision to quit (surrender if you prefer), I found a quarter on the ground.

Two weeks later I did my taxes. Wanna guess the amount of my federal refund? Almost $1400. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.

Amulet in Transition

Deanna — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 14:47:19 +0000

Back before Parlance got it’s official, state-sanctioned start, I worked with a life coach. She was helping me transition from miserable, day-job wage-slave to full-time solopreneur. I was making that transition in an ugly, kicking, screaming kind of way. I want change to happen on my terms. I don’t like it when it happens on someone else’s timeline. My coach suggested I find something solid, like a rock, and carry it around to remind myself to save my energy for what was really important. I was wasting huge amounts of time and energy being pissed off. I needed that energy to get my business off the ground.

I was dubious about the rock, they make excellent weapons, but I tried it anyway. I thought if I kept it in my purse I wouldn’t have it available to throw in a staff meeting.

Of course, I can’t blindly follow advice. I made the rock into an amulet. I drew some runes on it to create ease with the transition and bring on a new beginning. I dragged this thing around in my bag for about 6 months. By the time I finally left my day job and started Parlance full-time, I had forgotten the amulet in the bottom of my bag.

Last week, I got around to cleaning out a few of my handbags. The buildup of receipts, napkins, expired bus passes and detritus had to go. I found the amulet at the bottom of a bag under the mess. I left it on the nightstand and once again forgot about it.

Earlier this week, I found it on the floor in several pieces. I threw the pieces in the ocean.

When an amulet breaks its a powerful message. If the amulet was created to protect against negativity, it breaks when it has absorbed all the bad vibes it can handle. I thought about that for awhile. The transitions complete. It took a lot longer than I wanted, but I got the ease I asked for. The drama ended. There’s no hard feelings anymore. The pissed off became motivation and Parlance become a success. The amulet did its job.

Not everything should go digital

Deanna — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 13:46:46 +0000

I’ve been on the edge of getting really sick all week. When an opportunity to go on virtual retreat came up, I jumped on it. My plan was to be on virtual retreat all day yesterday. In a virtual retreat, you stay home and meet the other participants by phone every few hours. Three calls for spiritual practice, two calls for Q & A. In between calls, there’s spiritual practices on your own: prayer, writing, mild fasting, napping and gentle exercise. Mild fasting means eating small amounts and stopping before you’re full. Writing is longhand, you don’t use your computer. You only use the phone for retreat calls. Like a live retreat, it’s a day of rest and connecting with the Divine (Source, God, The Creator, whatever word you’re comfortable with)

”So? How was it?” you ask. Short answer: it didn’t work.I’ve been on retreat before. In the past, retreats involved going to a place where there’s nothing to do but be on retreat. It’s a fabulous experience: restful, hidden away from the world in the mountains, meditative hikes, gentle yoga, massages. If that experience had an opposite, it was being on retreat at home.

I was laying on the floor during the first spiritual practice call, listening to chanting and noticing that my rug needs to be vacuumed. Not noticing my heart opening or other sorts of retreat-y things. Noticing clumps of cat hair. So I chalked it up to resistance and kept going.

I tried to walk in nature as suggested as a between-call activity. I live in a city, so I walked on the beach and tried to ignore the airport and the financial district skyline. Not sure there was much heart-opening or connection-to-Source going on there.

I told the people I have ongoing projects with that I wasn’t available because I was on retreat. I forgot to tell my friends and family not to call me. My nap got interrupted with text messages and I missed the 3rd retreat call because I was on the phone debating the pros and cons of changing my cell plan. My own fault, I suppose, for not setting better retreat boundaries.

I was afraid I would be bored. I was right. By 1 I wanted to work. I wanted to find out who got eliminated on Top Chef the night before. I wanted to watch Project Runway All Stars and think uncharitable thoughts about Kara. I wanted to vacuum the rug. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, so a clean rug is a spiritual practice right? I chalked it all up to resistance and tried again.

I attempted one of the spiritual practices. It was nice, there was some Divine connection there. But it wasn’t nice enough to keep me from worrying about whether the citrus in the fruit bowl was still usable. And worrying about the expiration date on the chicken in the fridge. Nothing like a mild fast to create food obsession.

I finally gave up on the retreat around 3-ish. I hated on Kara. I vacuumed the rug. I returned my text messages. I juiced the citrus and checked the expiration on the chicken. I had a run of the mill day off.

Technology opens up so many opportunities for us. Most service providers I know have clients all over the world. They meet by phone, Skype or video chat. People hold conferences by webinar. Most of the time, it works. We don’t need to be in the same room anymore to exchange information. We live in a digital world, but retreats are one of those things that will have to continue to be analog.

If you’ve had a different experience on virtual retreat I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

Channeling: Guide’s advice for 2012

Deanna — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 17:55:07 +0000

I’ve heard people talking about channeling but I didn’t know what to expect until I participated in a guide-led meditation for 2012. Birdy and Mike Diamond channeled their guides for us. We were able to ask questions about the upcoming year. (Click here to check it out and participate in future mediations). It was the perfect way to kick off a new year.

Birdy from A wesome Audacious Abundance describes channeling as,

… the fine art of allowing another spirit entity to temporarily share your body for the purposes of communication, then accurately translating that communication for a human audience.

Scary, but intriguing, right? I asked the entity speaking through Mike how I can get in touch with my spirit guides. He suggested I ask to have my high-level guides to be known to me.

Just ask is the first step. Then they suggested we watch for symbolism and be aware of the learning period. A lot of the guidance we receive won’t be visual, so we should expect some weirdness. I can definitely vouch for the weirdness.

I asked to meet my guides. They appeared. One looked like a gold ball of light, kind of like the Golden Snitch in Harry Potter movies. The other was a white ball of light. Much to my chagrin, this is very much like the way Gary Busey describes angels.

One of them told me that I am safe and I am loved. Then I felt a release of tension. it was a deeper sense of relaxation than I’ve had in a while.

Some other things the guides said about the upcoming year:
Do you want to participate in 12/21/2012 as apocryphal or paradigm shift? Make it a conscious choice. You choose which universe you participate in.
2012 will be a time of greater concentration of change and personal choice
Take action, but don’t abuse yourself in the name of action.
2011 was foreshadow of whats to come, especially big changes.
Let things happen, don’t tie your energy up with anxiety. Outside forces don’t define your success or failure. It takes your unique time on your unique path.
There are big opportunities with the energy happening now, big opportunity to get what you want. This year is charged. It will be easier to get things done.

Tips from the guides for making changes:

Start with the small. It doesn’t have to be a huge change Small adjustments build up change muscles.
Be nice to yourself
It takes the time it takes. Have patience.

I’m looking forward to the next guide-led meditation on February 2nd. If this kind of thing piques your curiosity, I’d love to see you there. If this talk of changes has you excited, take a look in the pantry at my shiny new ebook Footwork.

Out of the broom closet

Deanna — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 16:48:24 +0000

I have a lot of woo-woo beliefs and habits. There I said it, out loud and in public. And I’m bracing myself for backlash. Short list of woo street-cred:

I frequently make decisions using runes and tarot cards.
I meditate
I practice yoga and shiva nata
I celebrate pagan holidays
I love the law of attraction (the concept anyway)
I listen to advice of my guides
I’m fond of NLP and hypnosis

And I’m a business owner. The short story here is that I’m doing what works. If meditating and doing the dance of shiva are working, then I’m going to keep it up.

There seems to be a resistance to all things woo. Woo isn’t serious, not good business. I disagree. I want to DO WHAT WORKS because at the end of the day the goal is TO GET SHIT DONE. Why would I ignore tools that help?

I’ve resisted “coming-out” because I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies and the lookitme’s. As time goes on, I’m finding more and more “normal” (I’m woking on better vocabulary) people, more business people and more rational left-brained people who believe in in the unconventional. To all of those folks: More power to you. Drop me a note. I’d love to chat.

Stay tuned. I want to talk about the New Year’s guide-led meditation next week.